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Why Self-Deprecation on Social Media Is Dangerous

By August 20, 2016 DIY & Lifestyle

Over the past few months I’ve been using Tumblr a lot. I use it for two types of Tumblr browsing; fandom (because yes, I have succumbed to the teenage stereotype of obsessing over fictional characters and the actors and actresses that bring them to life) and fashion. I’ve made friends (you know who you are!), I’ve gained inspiration and I’ve had a lot of fun whilst doing it… but I’ve also seen a considerable amount of self-deprecating content and it’s actually made me rather quite sad.

self-deprecation tumblr social media

There’s a danger that comes with social media, and we’re all aware of it, but the question is; do we actually take it seriously? For the most part when it comes to the internet, we (as in – the majority of us who use it (I’m talking about you, me, everyone who’s reading this now)) make sure that important topics are learnt about and crucial changes are made, especially when it comes to such things as cyberbullying, online grooming and all those sorts of things which I don’t really want to go into at much detail.

In terms of subtle messages and half-hearted posts made by anybody and anyone however, we don’t really seem to care that much, because that’s exactly what they come across as – half-hearted, meaningless throw-away comments.

What happens to all of those throw-away comments though? Where do they go? Well… they collect, and they get distributed, and because they’re so common but dispersed at a less powerful rate than those dangerous cyberbully comments and those weirdos you find on those random webcam generating sites, they get dismissed. When in actual fact, because they’re so prevalent, and because we see them so frequently, they can actually become more powerful than all of that over time.

self-deprecation tumblr social media

It sounds all a bit dramatic and some of you might not agree, but after realising how many of these self-deprecating posts there are on Tumblr and sites alike, it got me thinking as to why we need to a put a stop to them. Seeing endless posts of ‘omg i’m so ugly haha hashtag relatable’ and actually starting to go “Ohh yeah, that is relatable” is pretty damn worrying – because we’ve all done it right? We’ve all seen a post which has made us believe we are just that – ugly… too thin; too fat; too curvy; too spotty; too hairy etc etc; the list goes on.

Some of the time we agree with the apathetic-ness of it all – we reblog or retweet something along the lines of ‘imagine a world where i’m pretty’ (no capitalised letters because Tumblr™) and don’t think much of it because it made us laugh. We move on and we share another similar post the following day or week, or whenever something else along the same vein grasps our attention.

Let’s focus on one word there though – share.
That’s the dangerous part. It’s not like in a book where you can read a line and laugh, or read a line and express your relatable feelings to yourself, because there’s also a button which gives you the instant ability to pass the message on; to pass the message on to somebody else to find and start believing in too.

self-deprecation tumblr social media

These messages and comments and beliefs start filling our minds and it becomes second nature to click the button and agree with whatever’s written – probably by somebody in a genuine moment of insecurity, but has then snowballed to become a post with over 42,790 notes (reblogs/likes) and counting because it’s been marked and labelled as something ordinary. It’s a dangerous pattern all because we don’t even realise it is one.

It’s okay to sometimes share these posts in my opinion, because we all have down days of insecurity – even the most confident seeming people do, and occasionally we need something relatable and something that doesn’t make us feel so alone… but we also, more importantly, need to realise that there is a danger to it and that damage can be made when we’re constantly feeding our minds with these ideas which all ridiculously incorrect.

self-deprecation tumblr social media

I agree with the statement of beauty is in the eye of the beholder, because it genuinely is. There is no such thing as ugly. We only know of the word ugly because society has made us feel like we have to fit into a certain box – or should I say in this case, a text box.

So the next time you see a post like this, or you see somebody you know reblogging one – do take it seriously. Tell them that you disagree with the statement – send a message and tell them that they’re not ugly; tell them that they don’t have too-far-apart thighs or knobbly knees or whatever else might be listed, because promise me, they won’t expect it, but my goodness gracious they’ll appreciate it… because even if they did share it just as a joke, deep down, they probably believe it whole-heartedly.

 

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Finding Your Personal Style Aesthetic

By January 14, 2016 Fashion

Hello and welcome to my third official post of 2016 okay, calm it Tolly, it’s not a radio introduction… today’s post has been brewing in the back of my mind for a while now, and it’s all about aesthetics and finding that ‘vibe’ that fits you. I feel like I’m currently in a good place with my personal style, which is a big thing for someone my age because we’re always constantly changing along with our personalities. It’s a good thing though – I like having the true freedom to experiment with what I wear… it’s a shame that, that kind of fades away at a certain point. That needs to change!

Finding Your Personal Style Aesthetic - Tumblr Inspiration - Rad.co Sweatshirts


FOLLOW ME ON TUMBLR


I think my current personal style has started to form through different influences, mainly social media. I know I go on a lot about being yourself (because it’s true, you should be) but I think there’s a big difference between taking inspiration from and plain copying. Taking inspiration from different aspects of life can make a huge change in your wardrobe.

Like I said, for me, social media and places like Tumblr have really being do it. Creating an aesthetic isn’t just about looking at clothes, it’s about creating this whole idea and almost ‘way of life’ of how you want to go about things… so I don’t just look at outfits, I look at text posts, quotes, colour swatches, photograph etc… they all add up to create this broader image of what I’m trying to put across.

Finding Your Personal Style Aesthetic - Tumblr Inspiration - Rad.co Sweatshirts

If I had to put a label on the aesthetic I’m currently channelling, it would probably be called something like… ‘Pink Peanut Butter’. That sounds really odd, but it basically started off when I discovered Rad.co and they’re stunning and simple collection of sweaters (that sounds sponsored but I honestly swear it is 100% not), one of them being a plain yellow number with the embroidered words of ‘Peanut Butter’ (scroll down to take a peep).

If I had to give a list of things I’m loving it would probably go a little something like this…

Simple sweatshirts
Crisp blouses
Neutral tones
Pinks, Mustards
Corduroy textures
✗ Natural beauty

Denim
70s shapes
‘Tasteful’ slogans
Normcore – ugh, I really don’t like that word though
Bohemian jewellery

Finding Your Personal Style Aesthetic - Tumblr Inspiration - Rad.co Sweatshirts


SHOP: 1 // 2


In terms of my recent purchases and how I’ve actually been channeling these vibes into my personal style, I picked up this rather ‘peanut butter’ style sweatshirt from Pull & Bear which has a tasteful slogan, 70s colours and peanut butter colours. I can’t wait to style it up throughout the year, even layering it for the warmer days so it becomes more of a slouchy throw-over (you can see a snippet of it over on my Instagram)… but as I mentioned above, I’m in love with Rad.co and I am eagerly awaiting the day when they start shipping worldwide… *daydreams*


I didn’t want to write a full post about it because I just want the news to sit with me for a bit, but of course I have acknowledged our tragic loss of the inspirational legend that is David Bowie. I wrote a tiny snippet over on Facebook as to why I’m not making a full piece, so I hope you understand. He made a big impact in my life and I will forever be honoured that I was alive at the same time he was. So thank you, David Bowie, please go and be as free as that bluebird.

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Inspired by… Arcade Fire Reflektor Tapes

By October 16, 2015 DIY & Lifestyle

So I decided for today I wanted to move away from my normal style of content and try something new. After watching Arcade Fire’s “Reflektor Tapes” film by Kahlil Joseph at the cinema, I came away quite inspired by the art that they produce. I’m no major fan, but after being introduced to the band by my brother, they have always intrigued me and the film definitely got me interested even more… (Images via Tumblr – Scroll for sources)

Reflektor 1Reflektor 2

For me the part that inspires me the most is the whole aesthetic (of Reflektor). In an exclusive ‘after-credits interview’, Win Butler even stated that it was the first time that they really focused on the whole spectrum of a tour in terms of how it looked and in my opinion it looked pretty darn awesome. There’s something so inspiring to me when art is so in sync and so purposefully put together, but it still somehow shows a story with it’s different elements.

As I said in this post’s intro, this is a different sort of topic for me but it can definitely merge into fashion in terms of costume and set design, and actually, even the music itself. It’s probably quite a personal thing as I am a bit reluctant to shiny things (I wore holographic shoes to the cinema), but I just have to express my thoughts down in… typing?

Reflektor 3

One of my favourite elements of Reflektor is Arcade Fire’s “Mirror Man”, who actually was created by Gustav Troger who works with glass and mirror as his main material and I definitely want to look more into his work. I genuinely want to cover my Dr Martens in broken shards of mirror and become my own version of the ‘living sculpture’. And if you go into detail of the actual Reflektor album, you’ll soon understand it’s importance.

Have you seen the “Reflektor Tapes”? Are you a fan of Arcade Fire? Did you like this style of post? Let me know!


Arcade Fire Reflektor Tapes


(Tumblr sources: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6)

 

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Making 10 Year Old Tolly’s Ideas Come To Life…

By June 20, 2015 DIY & Lifestyle

“Dear my little earthlings,” was how I used to introduce my posts on my old Tumblr blog when I was 10… yup, most of you won’t know but I was still blogging back then. I used to write super short and simple posts to an audience of around…. 0? So, when I was recently sorting through some of my old bits and bobs, I discovered an old Tumblr/blogging notebook which was pretty much half empty. What was in that notebook you ask?

Tolly Dolly Posh Digital Club Card Mock-up Photoshop

In my super duper, pretty much empty notebook I found a few odd (and pretty darn awful) sketchy drawings of ideas for my future as “TDP”. Back then (LOL, I’m talking about it as if it’s been twenty years) I had more of a vision of being this sort of cool, hip, high street store so the ideas I had were really based around that kinda’ thing. I drew a scribble of a cash register (with even descriptions of what some of the buttons meant) and some ideas for the price tags for both men’s and women’s clothes.

So, I was like… It’s been over five years since I created them, so why not make my “10 year old TDP” ideas come to life? So I did! I fiddled around on Photoshop, tweaked the Bevel & Emboss settings and added all the right components for a… Tolly Dolly Posh Club card! Yeah that’s right, a points card… 💳

Tolly Dolly Posh Digital Club Card Mock-up Photoshop

After fiddling around for a while, I came up with the design above. It looks a lot different from the original drawing (below), but what I do like is the fact that I was using purple back then… and purple is one of my main branding colours now. Anyway, what do you think? I’m actually really chuffed with how it came out. I did try to make the price tags but the original design was so bad that it just didn’t look right at all. But, I think 10 year old Tolly would be impressed… if I do say so myself…!

Tolly Dolly Posh Digital Club Card Mock-up Photoshop

So, don’t go throwing away those silly little notebooks full (or well, half empty) of scribbles and future ideas. Keep them not only to reflect on how your skills have developed, but to remind you of where you’ve come from for when things start changing or moving in the future. I’m glad that I looked back on these funny ideas I had and made them come to life. Maybe one day they’ll be a real thing?! Who knows? I guess that’s the cool thing about blogging… it’s a place where all your memories and thoughts can be stored forever, in the form of a creative hobby.


💳 What do you think of my Tolly Dolly Posh Club card mock-up? Have you ever taken something from the past and made it come to life again? Let me know in the comments! 💳 


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My Style & Inspiration with Phiney Pet*

By September 6, 2014 My Style

Helloooo! Long time no blog. Sorry for the slight delay in posting, I’ve actually been quite busy and some of the posts which I was meant to post just weren’t coming across 100% tip-top, but I have one finally! Another apology for the fact that my recent OOTD/My Style posts have been so close together… I won’t be posting one for a while due to LFW, so I thought I would give you twice as much in one go! Today though, I have an outfit post with a bit twist. I’m doing a little thing with Phiney Pet and I hope you enjoy… (Inspiration images via Tumblr)

my style ootd fashion blog phiney pet my style ootd fashion blog phiney pet my style ootd fashion blog phiney pet my style ootd fashion blog phiney pet

Frida, Denim & Embroidery (Tolly) // Circles, Monochrome & Summer (Phiney Pet)

Just as an introduction for those of you who don’t know of Phiney, she is an upcoming designer who I found through Style Bubble (Susie Lau’s blog). Phiney mainly paints clothing which I think is really cool and unique. One of my favourite things she has done was her SS 14′ jacket. It was so intricate and detailed, I loved it! For the first stage of our little ‘collab’ we put together some ideas for the box clutch via some images from Tumblr. I’ve been loving denim recently and I think badges and embroidery all mix in really well, especially with a summery vibe. I’m all about bright colours also so it’s basically the perfect mix for me. Flowers are a huge inspiration for me too, so of course Frida Khalo had to be mixed in! Phiney said that she accidentally used images which all involved circles, and it came out quite well! I gave Phiney some other ideas like including fruit and palm trees and the result is pretty cute! ^.^

my style ootd fashion blog phiney petmy style ootd fashion blog phiney pet

What I Wore: Denim Jacket (Jumble Sale), Spotty Dungarees (ASOS), Pom Pom Headband (ASOS), Black Shimmer Dr Martens (Jumble Sale), Badges £3.00 each (Phiney Pet)* & Custom Lunch Box Clutch (Phiney Pet)*

I admit it, this outfit is pretty simple, but sometimes comfort is key. Although it is simple, it’s perfect for this kind of year as it isn’t too warm and isn’t too cold. It’s great for the transition between summer and autumn. Due to spots and denim being involved in our inspiration images, I obviously had to wear my jacket and favourite dungarees. They’re too cute! Phiney (Josephine really) also gave me a keyring which I knew immediately would suit my pom pom headband, so the outfit came together quite quickly. I also had on this super cute little crochet crop top but I completely forgot to photograph it. Grrrr!

my style ootd fashion blog phiney pet my style ootd fashion blog phiney pet

To be quite honest the clutch wasn’t quite was I was expecting in terms of size and style, but I actually kind of like it’s quirky charm. Even if I don’t get to wear it out that often, it will always be a reminder of finding new upcoming designers like Phiney. I love the little pineapple and the spots and everything painted basically. It’s just so cute! I think on holiday it would look adorable with all your beach essentials inside… aww, now I really want to go to the beach and sun bathe… *sighs*

my style ootd fashion blog phiney pet my style ootd fashion blog phiney pet

Finally lets talk about the little details. Josephine also really kindly slipped in some of her super cute badges, they’re adorable and I especially love the pastel ones. They give an added girly-ness to my denim jacket, which I also love. It’s a little bit cropped (aka. too small) but I’ve got a lot of wear out of it which is always good. Speaking of wearing, I haven’t worn my Docs in ages, especially this pair. I definitely need to get some more boot socks for these bad boys. I will not have blisters for winter!

Thank you so much to Phiney Pet for joining me in this post, I hope that lots of you (my lovely readers) will have a nose on Phiney’s site… it’s super cute, so I totally recommend that you do. I cannot wait to see your SS 15′ collection PP! Did you like the clutch Phiney painted? Let me know in a comment! Speak soon 😀

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Monthly Obsessions: Tumblr, Carrie & Doodles

By January 17, 2014 DIY & Lifestyle, Fashion

I’m back! It’s been so long! I actually feel excited to be writing again! I’m so glad none of you got too upset I was gone 😉 I had a lovely 16 days of chilling with my family and getting lots of baby smiles! I shall not babble on for too long, and tell you how I have been waiting so long to do this post! I’ve been wanting to do a ‘monthly favourites’ sort of post but not things like clothing/products I’ve worn and used, more like things that I have seen and enjoyed looking at… hmm… you’ll get the gist! 😉 (Images from Tumblr/Etsy)

monthly obsessions tumblr carrie diaries outfits freya flavell doodles cryybaby etsymonthly obsessions tumblr carrie diaries outfits freya flavell doodles cryybaby etsyTumblr – My first ever blog, was actually on Tumblr. I don’t really count it as a blog because all I did really was outfits, but after that I sort of left Tumblr, and now I’m back, and oh am I glad. I get so much inspiration from browsing and re-blogging people’s posts. I now know what Pastel Grunge is and I have been left quite confused about what Sea Punk is? I like to post weird and wonderfully coloured things, GIFs of Eddie Redmayne, and gorgeous doodles. If you have Tumblr do let me know because I would love to follow you! You can follow me here or click on the button in the sidebar!

monthly obsessions tumblr carrie diaries outfits freya flavell doodles cryybaby etsyFreya Flavell Does Doodles – I actually found Freya on Tumblr, and I’m in love with her doodles! They are so simple, yet so cute and colourful and she should be really proud of her work. I love finding illustrators who are young and obviously love what they are doing. Her drawings also give me inspiration for outfits and my future hair when I can face up to the fact that everybody and their dogs (that is actually true, their was a programme on it) dyes their hair, and that I will probably end up doing a full shabang rather than just dip dye. Talking of dip dye, doesn’t that purple hair on that one illustration look awesome? Make sure you check out Freya here!

monthly obsessions tumblr carrie diaries outfits freya flavell doodles cryybaby etsyThe Carrie Diaries – Seeing as I am a little bit young for Sex In The City, I recently started watching the prequel with my sister whilst she was over, and even though this is still quite rude and eye boggling at times, (only watch it if you are 13 and over, I warned you) but I really do enjoy it. I enjoy it so much that I am now up to date with the current season. I have ordered the book too so I’m excited to see how well they have portrayed Carrie. Anna-Sophia Robb was a good pick though, she is a really good actress and I have always been fond of her work. Plus, if you want some outfit ideas, then watch this show… or you could follow my Carrie Diaries Outfit Tumblr! 😉

monthly obsessions tumblr carrie diaries outfits freya flavell doodles cryybaby etsyCryybaby – I have started to reach out to individual and more handmade stores instead of just going to my comfort shopping store, ASOS. Whilst searching on Tumblr (surprise surprise), I found Mimi’s store, Cryybaby from Etsy. Being a teen myself (oh my dear waffles (umm) I’m 14 this year!) I love supporting fellow teens, and I love Mimi’s stuff! It’s all so simple, but so cute and pretty darn cheap too! I’m actually going to get a custom necklace made which is pretty cool! Make sure you check out her store! It’s pretty cool!

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